It's kind of funny, not funny ha ha, but funny ironic, that I'm writing about feeling insecure while this entire website is dedicated to confident, informed sexuality. It doesn't make sense, but it's a very real struggle, and maybe the reason this is my first post. On my about page, you can read a little more about why I decided to dive into the world of writing about sex, but in this space, I'm going to lay my vulnerable heart out, because I know there are so many people who feel exactly the same way. It's sad that we live in a society, a world, where insecurity is viewed as a weakness when insecure people are some of the strongest people I know.
I started this because it's been on my heart for a long time, just gnawing at me, not leaving me alone, and one day I told my husband I wanted to start a sex-blog and he said, "as long as you don't give away all my secrets!" That's who he is. Supportive.
Even with the support of the person who means the most to me in this world, I still have these thoughts that go around and around in my head, the tapes that play, saying things like:
"Who are you to do this?"
"You're not pretty enough."
"You're not experienced enough."
"What do you have to offer that a hundred others aren't already doing?"
"Nobody will read your blog."
"Nobody will visit this site."
"You're going to fail."
"You're going to be called out as a fraud."
So maybe all those things going around in my head are exactly why I need to do this. Maybe nobody will read and nobody will visit, but I'm doing it anyway. So fuck you, insecurity that plagues me, I'm doing it anyway. And yeah, sometimes I'm going to use some very "unchristian" language while I'm at it.
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